At a loss for words
Earlier this fall I took on the roll of a nanny for an 8 year old girl named "O", coupled with my 40 hour a week job at a hospital. The child's mother is a well known surgeon, who is gone a majority of the time. I was asked to move into their house but declined. I have my own place and I like having my own space outside of work.
There have been some ups and down's the last few months. The little girl has thrown fits that are almost scary at times. I feel like our honeymoon period is over and her true colors are starting to show.
From what I can tell there are no consequences in the home. So, when I set limits or consequences for "O" I know that there will be tantrums. I used to work in a boys detention center so fits of anger I am used to, and they dont bother me. I set the limit and once it is crossed there are consequences to her actions. We've done some writing assignments, no TV, no dessert, that sort of thing. For a bit it was working.
Now I am at a loss for words. I am not really sure what to do. "O" has decided to starve herself until she get's her way. I am usually able to get her to eat something, but truth be told it is not much. She has also started saying that she wants to kill herself. I've brought this up to her mother, but I dont think it's been discussed. I have told her that if she really feels that way then we will have to take her to the hospital. She says she doesnt care. She has a very self loathing attitude. I truly dont know where she has learned it from.
When she does good, I do positive re-enforcement. However, she's refusing to do anything she is asked, even by her mother. It all falls on me to get her to do her homework and tutoring, shower.... daily basics. I feel like her mom gives up on her and then I come in and have her do what she is supposed to.
She is 8 years old. She can't make adult decisions, and I feel like her mom is allowing her to do so. She doesnt want to do her homework, so mom doesnt make her. She doesnt want to eat, mom doesnt push the issue. Basic hygene is lacking. I am doing the best that I can. I think if I had her mom on the same page things would get accomplished.
I am completely frustrated and at a loss for words.
There have been some ups and down's the last few months. The little girl has thrown fits that are almost scary at times. I feel like our honeymoon period is over and her true colors are starting to show.
From what I can tell there are no consequences in the home. So, when I set limits or consequences for "O" I know that there will be tantrums. I used to work in a boys detention center so fits of anger I am used to, and they dont bother me. I set the limit and once it is crossed there are consequences to her actions. We've done some writing assignments, no TV, no dessert, that sort of thing. For a bit it was working.
Now I am at a loss for words. I am not really sure what to do. "O" has decided to starve herself until she get's her way. I am usually able to get her to eat something, but truth be told it is not much. She has also started saying that she wants to kill herself. I've brought this up to her mother, but I dont think it's been discussed. I have told her that if she really feels that way then we will have to take her to the hospital. She says she doesnt care. She has a very self loathing attitude. I truly dont know where she has learned it from.
When she does good, I do positive re-enforcement. However, she's refusing to do anything she is asked, even by her mother. It all falls on me to get her to do her homework and tutoring, shower.... daily basics. I feel like her mom gives up on her and then I come in and have her do what she is supposed to.
She is 8 years old. She can't make adult decisions, and I feel like her mom is allowing her to do so. She doesnt want to do her homework, so mom doesnt make her. She doesnt want to eat, mom doesnt push the issue. Basic hygene is lacking. I am doing the best that I can. I think if I had her mom on the same page things would get accomplished.
I am completely frustrated and at a loss for words.
posted by Little Bits @ 4:32 PM
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